I want Daddy to read it … Aliens Vs. Predator – Requiem

When Alien Vs. Predator hit theatres a few years back I had seen only Alien and Aliens from either franchise. I figured I didn’t really need to know every single detail of both series before viewing the combo. I was absolutely right. That film took it upon itself to build up a mythology that connected the two alien races in a way to show that they have been on Earth much longer than humans. The story was pretty intriguing and the fights never overshadowed what happened onscreen as far as the progression of each and their relationship with humans. Now comes the sequel throwing all that out the window. Aliens Vs. Predator – Requiem has absolutely no substance to it whatsoever. We are introduced to a captured Predator, infected by an Alien, currently finished with its inhabitant’s incubation. A hybrid is born and the ship crashes, leading a Predator on his home planet to come down and clean up the mess while erasing any trace of either alien’s existence. Fighting ensues, people die, and the plot never evolves or brings anything unique to the table at all.

I must shake my head at John Ortiz’s decision to take part in this film. The guy has impressed me the past two years and truthfully does better in this role than the movie should ever have dreamed. Unfortunately it is one of the thankless human roles that are all expendable, serving only as pawns to be killed for shock value. No character is above the plot and the fact that some live is really just the luck of the draw. Normally this would be a cool device, surprises at every turn, but here there are no stakes and death only made me shrug my shoulders or giggle at the absurdity. When the movie finally ends you feel cheated because everything is as it was at the beginning. Aliens and Predators fight and will to the end of time, hybrids seem to be stronger but really just a Predator with an Alien tongue, and extraterrestrial weaponry is something we “are not ready for.” Yes the setup for a third installment at the conclusion is the most laughable part of the entire experience. An alien gun makes the government wonder about intelligent technology and the fact that we are not alone. Interesting that this is what is needed and the imagery of aliens that the government official sees before ordering an air strike isn’t enough to realize we have visitors.

I don’t know whether this is supposed to be a veiled commentary on the current war or not, (the perfect opportunity with the line of “the government wouldn’t just leave us to die” falls without response or diatribe), but if it is not, I can’t see what the writers thought they were doing as this adds nothing to the mythologies of these characters. The interesting ancient relationships between the two and humanity is thrown out the window and replaced with action, guns, and acid. The lone Predator—they seem to be smart while the Aliens just exist to procreate, how could they not have taken over easily years ago—just runs amok erasing all evidence of the invasion and using humans as bait to draw out the Aliens, never killing them unless absolutely necessary. This non-violent trend towards man is not fleshed out, however, as it was in the first.

So, if you like blood and violence mixed with some action at the expense of any story at all—I did nod off a couple times from the boredom of seeing no progression ever—you will love this film. While the acting is not unequivocally bad, Ortiz is good and Johnny Lewis isn’t horrible himself, the characters have nothing to do for the short time they are on screen. Used mainly as vehicles to show the brutality our invaders can inflict, survival for no reason other than survival just isn’t fascinating. No one seems to care about anyone but him/herself and you almost wish everyone would just be eliminated. The only redeeming part of the entire film is the eye-candy that is Kristen Hager. Unfortunately she isn’t even that attractive. AVP-R falls short in every category.

Aliens Vs. Predator – Requiem 3/10